Synergy of Head and Heart

When we realise that we have a talent of disregarding our fears/desires or being run by them, we need to step back and look at the pattern. The mind helps us to do this. It helps us to see the big picture.

We see how our insecurity and emotional neediness lead to impulsive actions that get us involved in inappropriate relationships. Or we see how our fears prevent us from opening our hearts to the possibility of new, healthy relationships. We understand our pattern so that we can see it the next time it manifests in our lives. Then we can make conscious choices, instead of unconscious ones.

This doesn't mean we analyse our lives to death. We don't escape into our heads. We learn to detach emotionally just enough to gain perspective on our situation. The mind understands what the heart feels. The heart listens to what the mind sees. They commune. And, as they do, integration happens in the psyche.

We want to make choices that honour what we feel and are consistent with the goals that we have set for our lives. Heart and head need to be in constant dialogue if we are to make sensitive, intelligent choices. 

Sometimes we act based on a feeling that something is right, even though the mind is sceptical. We need to pay attention to the outcome when we act intuitively. Do we make good choices when we do this? If we do, we want to keep trusting our intuition. If we don't, we need to question if it is really intuition we are following. Sometimes, what we call intuition is just our desire or our fear run amuck.

As we experiment, we get to know our strengths and weaknesses. We learn to ascertain when we are ambivalent and when we are clear, when we are open and intuitive and when we are emotionally reactive. We get to know our emotional landscape. That is important work. We can't live in our hearts if we are unwilling to undertake this exploration. 

By Paul Ferrini from his book titled "Grace Unfolding"

May you find that beautiful and crucial (yet sometimes aversive) balance between the head and the heart!